Alexa PenaVega is talking up on how Dancing With the Stars may be tough for married individuals.
Alexa, 36, and her husband, Carlos PenaVega, both competed on season 21 of Dancing With the Stars in 2015, and she’s not sure whether they could’ve handled the reality competition under other conditions.
“It was early in our marriage, and we literally said to each other that we don’t know how spouses do this show without doing it the way we did,” Alexa claimed during a Sunday, November 3, visit on former DWTS pro Cheryl Burke’s “Sex, Lies and Spray Tans” podcast.
“Like, if Carlos was doing this and I was watching this girl dance with him all close and the rehearsals or whatever, it would be so hard,” the actress said. “And for Carlos, at that season of his life, he was such a jealous man that even though he understood the dynamic of the show, it was still hard for him. And you know how it goes – it is really flirty.”
Alexa said that she and Carlos, 35, had to “set big boundaries” with their respective partners, Mark Ballas and Witney Carson, in order to both feel comfortable.
“It was super hard for everyone around us. You know how it’s, like, extremely flirtatious backstage and whatever,” she said. “I know it was really kind of rocky for everybody, because when we went on the show, we literally said, ‘Look, we’re a married couple. You guys are our partners, and we are so pleased to link up with you, but it doesn’t mean we desert our marriage and this becomes our No. 1. Our marriage is still first.'”
Alexa noted that she “got along great” with Ballas, 38, but did had to be explicit with him about flirty behavior.
“If it was ever flirty, I’d just be like, ‘I don’t do that.’ I was a little nasty, but it was merely to create appropriate boundaries,” she said. “And then we figured it out, and we ended up having a really great partnership.”
The Spy Kids alum remarked that the urge to flirt came “less from Witney and Mark” and more from the show’s creators.
“They’re trying to make it like, ‘Alexa only cares about her husband, she doesn’t care about the competition at all,’” Alexa recounted. She stated that it “hurt [her] feelings” when guest judge Alfonso Ribeiro, who currently cohosts the program, told her, “‘You and Mark can win this; you can Carlos cannot.’”
Trying to combine the competition and her marriage — the PenaVegas tied the wedding in 2014 — left Alexa feeling “defeated” at times.
“Our marriage was still so young, and we were still learning so much, and Carlos was so jealous and also battling his insecurities. I felt like I had to be there for him,” she explained. “He didn’t do anything bad, but if you see your spouse not feeling good or feeling jealousy — even though there was no reason he should’ve felt that back in the day, and he’ll tell you the same thing that he was just so young and dumb — it just took a toll on me.”
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DWTS is notorious for flirtations and relationships between celebrities and their pro partners. The program has produced both short-lived flings, most recently Brooks Nader and Gleb Savchenko, and full-fledged weddings, like Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson.
Nearly a decade after Alexa and Carlos ranked sixth and fourth, respectively, on DWTS, the couple are still going strong. They share boys Ocean, 7, and Kingston, 5, and daughter Rio, 3. Their daughter Indy was stillborn in April.
Alexa told Burke, 40, that the death of her young daughter was “the hardest thing that you could ever walk through,” but also expressed the surprise “great feeling of peace” she and Carlos had experienced subsequently.
“I just feel like God knew what kind of attack was coming, because he surrounded us with the most incredible community,” she added. “I would give anything to have her back, but also what we experienced in her loss was so much life. She taught us so much. … She’s still such a part of all that we do.”
